Bonuses hit. Jobs change. People move. Life accelerates. Most people are expected to figure it out alone.

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Throughout December, I began to share more content related to newly weds, those recently engaged, and all the other partners or couples out there tackling life together.

The post below I shared last week and took off! I’m talking over 1M views across TikTok, Instagram and LinkedIn in less than a week.

You can also watch this on TikTok.

Welcome back. I hope you had a great holiday break.

I squeezed in an insanely thrilling and freezing Bears–Packers game, promptly got the flu (or experienced a 7 day hangover), moved into a new apartment, and took some much-needed R&R that I didn’t realize how badly I needed. It was one of those stretches where everything happens at once, and you’re reminded how quickly time moves when life doesn’t pause for you to catch up.

And honestly, that’s what’s been on my mind lately. Because over the past few weeks, I’ve spent time with recently engaged couples, newlyweds, young parents, and families who all said some version of the same thing: “We blinked… and now we’re here.”

Careers progressed. Kids arrived. Mortgages happened. Responsibilities stacked. And suddenly the questions got heavier. Not dramatic, end-of-the-world questions, just the quiet, hard ones you don’t get around to asking when every day is about survival.

What I’ve learned after thousands of conversations is this: most couples don’t fall behind because they’re irresponsible. They fall behind because they never had time to zoom out.

When you’re building a career, raising kids, paying bills, managing a home, and trying to stay sane, money becomes reactive. You deal with what’s in front of you. Promotions feel like relief. Bonuses feel like oxygen. Raises feel like validation.

And for a moment, they are. But the couples who eventually pull ahead aren’t doing anything wildly different. They just pause long enough to align.

They talk. Not once. Not when something breaks. But consistently. They ask questions like:

Those conversations don’t happen naturally. They have to be intentional.

Most couples don’t lack income. They lack alignment.

Every January, I see it happen again. Bonuses hit. New salaries kick in. Titles change. LinkedIn lights up. For most people, it feels incredible for a week. Then life quietly absorbs the progress and resets expectations.

But the couples who pull ahead experience job season differently. Not because they’re ungrateful. Not because they’re unimpressed.

It just doesn’t shock them.

Because their careers aren’t operating independently. They’re aligned. So when the bonus comes in or the salary bumps, it’s not a flex. It’s a checkpoint. They share it like a report card. With each other. Sometimes with their financial advisor. They ask, “Does this change anything?” And often, the answer is no.

When you’re aligned on the long game, good news becomes confirmation, not disruption.

Another pattern I see constantly: the couples who pull ahead are comfortable being early.

They support the partner who posts content before it’s polished. They back the spouse who takes a commission-heavy role. They accept that one person might hold the stable job while the other swings for upside.

It looks awkward. It looks risky. It looks “cringe.” Until it doesn’t.

Most people spend their 20s and 30s trying to avoid looking dumb. The couples who pull ahead accept that everything meaningful looks dumb at first. They’re not reckless. They’re intentional. And they’re doing it together.

Progress requires someone willing to swing and someone willing to steady the floor.

What breaks my heart a little is how often couples come to us after the blink moment. After a decade flies by. After life fills every gap. After survival becomes the default.

They’re not behind. They’re just tired. And they’re finally asking the questions they didn’t have space for earlier. That’s why I always encourage couples to do something simple.

Open a bottle of wine. Sit at the table. Take a walk. And ask one honest question:

“What do we want our life to look like in the next ten years?”

Not numbers. Not salaries. Not net worth targets. Real answers. Time with kids. Less stress. Flexibility. A meaningful career. Living closer to family. A trip you’ve always talked about but never planned. Money is just the tool. Alignment is the work.

People don’t want a number. They want breathing room.

This is why Habits exists. Not to tell people to chase more. Not to push extreme strategies. Not to turn money into a personality.

We help couples slow down, zoom out, and make intentional decisions before chaos decides for them. Financial advisors aren’t there to impress you with spreadsheets. They’re there to help you navigate the gray areas, the trade-offs, the timing, the conversations that don’t fit in a viral post.

The couples who pull ahead don’t wait for things to break. They build alignment early and adjust as life changes.

Real wealth isn’t built from hacks. It’s built from shared direction.

The couples who pull ahead aren’t smarter. They aren’t grinding harder. They aren’t always making the most money.

They just operate as a team. They expect progress instead of being surprised by it. And they design their life instead of reacting to it.

That’s it.

And if you’re feeling like you blinked and suddenly you’re here, you’re not late. You’re right on time to start asking better questions.

Pulling ahead isn’t about doing more. It’s about doing it together.

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